blind dream

the ash of the cigarette , spread on the ground
like earth's grey hair, strewn in an order only He,
the deranged, and the myth can see,
The hurried flurry of your fingers and the door
slammed,
you said i was way past me
and a little too far behind to appreciate the view,
Well you said a lot of things.
Lest you disappear, I feed you with care and fodder,
I am god and so are you,
I have stared too long into the lake to know the difference.
And so I jump into myself again.
I drown.
And then I'm awake,
having wet my bed yet again.
A real nice shiny dream i bought today.
In exchange for my eyes.
Lest I sleep now?
or dream my blinding dream forever?